Need Help from Experienced African-American women and/or hairstylists please!!?

Ok I need help on how to help my hair become silky and bouncy and what products to use. Here are a few things to know about my hair. I have medium-textured, relaxed, VERY DRY, shoulder-length hair. The prob I have is my hair is really dry, and I cant get it to be bouncy, silky and shiny. If I flat iron with no product, it will be really bouncy and really MOVE, but not shiny at all. As soon as i put product in it, however, it becomes really shiny, but it gets weighed down and wont move anymore. Ive tried many products and even tried using a small amt. What should I do?!! By the way, if you've seen Tyler Perry's "Why Did I Get Married" Movie, I want it to look like Angela's. Her hair moves, has body, is silky and shiny and bouncy!!! Looks like you can run your fingers right through it, and the hair will just fall and flow! Sry so long of a question! Thanks a bunch for answering! God bless ladies!